Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
