what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
