I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
