I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
false alarm, still single
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
