She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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