i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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