And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
