Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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