mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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