oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
