You're completely useless in the revolution.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
