I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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