Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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