I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
