Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
