She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
