I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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