38 yer olds are good kisserssss
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
