Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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