.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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