In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The struggles of a small town man whore
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
