dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
