I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just high enough for therapy.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize