Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
