Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
