oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
