Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
