Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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