Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
