so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize