This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
