Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
