How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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