Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
