Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
