"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
