either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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