One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
