dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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