I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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