I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
