At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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