In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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