I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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