Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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