My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
