R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize