no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
