Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
