Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
