Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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