Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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