You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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