Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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