I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Girls should come with a carfax report
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
