I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
