I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My cat gives me a boner
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
