garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
