Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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