Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
