relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
